| Jokes, and then some........... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Revealing Gift Test | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive. 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Sex 5. Dinner/Dancing 6. Waffle iron After you've selected, scroll down... 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. SEX It means that... You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your sexuality with another consenting adult and feel that the physical side of love can be meaningful and beautiful. OR You're a filthy degenerate who is no better than a rutting animal living solely for one carnal experience after another. 5. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 6. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant sexual fetish involving kitchen appliances. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| He's Got My Vote!!!! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -- J. Danforth Quayle "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- J. Danforth Quayle "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89 "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88 "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89 "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89 "May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world." -- The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card. [Not a beacon of literacy, though.] "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88 "We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "The future will be better tomorrow." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." -- Vice President Dan Quayle 9/21/88 "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." -- Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89 "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "Public speaking is very easy." -- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88 "I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92) "Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year." -- Vice President Dan Quayle 8/18/92 "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90 "For NASA, space is still a high priority." -- Vice President Dan Quayle 9/5/90 "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." -- Vice President Dan Quayle 9/18/90 "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make." --Vice President Dan Quayle "We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made." --Vice President Dan Quayle "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Vice President Dan Quayle "[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system." -- Vice President Dan Quayle | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| If They Made Cars Like Operating Systems | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
1) A particular model of car wouldn't be available until after that year. | 2) Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new engine for your car - unless your car was more than two years old; then you'd have to buy a new car. 3) Occasionally your car would just die for no apparent reason, while other cars would continue about their business. 4) You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you have a WinCar95 or a CarNT, but then, you'd have to buy more seats and seatbelts. 5) Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar-powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, but only ran on 5 percent of the roads. 6) The oil, alternator, gasoline and engine warning lights would be replaced with a single light that reads: "General Car Fault, please check engine". 7) Car manufacturers would sell or give away cars that are in testing stages that would break down or blow up regularly.
|
Favourite links
|
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||
|
This page has been visited
|